I interviewed with this company today and I'm pretty sure I blew it. I wasn't prepared and I got flustered. The questions were pretty straightforward and I should have had answers ready. They were throwing me softballs. No excuse.
I have a real problem with personal branding, especially in interview situations. What I like to tell people is that I have a problem talking about myself, which is true to an extent. But the underlying problem, I think is that I'm not super-confident about my own background and my own value.
My career, such as it is, has been less than ideal. If I'm being honest, this is true. When I got out of High School, I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I joined the Marine Corps. When that was over, I went to college, which was the right thing to do, but was also delaying the inevitable. If I could do it over again, I would get a degree in Business or Computer Science and I would have made sure to do multiple internships. Instead, I got a degree in Political Science and didn't do a single internship.
Now that I look back at things, it's pretty clear that I am some sort of crazy, manic procrastinator. I put stuff off, and by "stuff" I mean pretty much everything, and now I'm in a position where it's going to be really hard for me to get what I want, if I even know what that is. I'm pretty sure that my lack of preparation for this interview is just another form of procrastination. Basically, I'm putting off life. It may be that I'm afraid to prepare because if I put real effort into it and don't get it, then that will hurt. That sounds simplistic, but I think it's true. I'm protecting my reality.
So, I need to stop procrastinating. That's kind of the bottom line here.
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